Fortune cookieBack in 2006 I was reading a lot about the Law of Attraction and got into the habit of monitoring my thoughts with the intention of training myself to phrase things in a more positive way. “Affirm what you desire instead of what you fear”— that whole thing.

Anyway, time happened and I went into clinical nutrition and well, I’m still the same incurable optimist I’ve always been—I just happen to have fallen off the invisible normal wagon. Some of the things I find myself casually thinking as I go about my day would sound crazy to most folks. For example:

  • “Does that guy type his chart notes in all caps because he thinks he’s god?”
  • “I guess you can’t break up with someone, give them pancreatic cancer in a poem, publish that poem, and expect them to want to be Facebook friends.”
  • “I wonder if they let him sleep in that cowboy hat.”
  • “I seriously need to stop telling the McNuggets story on first dates.”
  • “Dear Men of the Internet posting photos of yourselves petting tigers: We are not impressed.”
  • “220 ml free water bolus x 5…”
  •  “Maybe I should get married or even—gasp—have kids so I have someone to turn me in bed when I’m old.”
  • “Does roasted seaweed count as a carb exchange?”
  • “(wt in kg x 10) + (ht in cm x 6.25) – (5x age)- 161=”

And that’s just a small sample.

What’s on your mind lately? 

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